Hol​(​e​)​y Jacket

from CW: Loss by Breakfast In Silence

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lyrics

I’m really fucking tired of feeling like this
concave human.

Can’t curl up tight enough.
A human fist, I fight hard to be open
-open to help-
to release white knuckled guilt.

I was committed again, now I’m out, I commit to carry my own holes around.
Goddamn! Rip me a new one, Mom.
Dig my own grave so it’s easier to leave.

Why would I envy Grandma’s exit?
Still wear her son’s hol(e)y denim jacket?
Gonna prove I can live in it the way he couldn’t live up to or through it.

It’s too easy to blame
the clerk who sold her the gin,
the bridge he couldn’t cross-

I’ll blame myself later for not knowing to call.
I’ll blame myself later for fucking up.

I will never feel Whole.

I’ll just wear myself out.
No sense giving up now.

credits

from CW: Loss, released March 27, 2020

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Breakfast In Silence Salt Lake City, Utah

hey there hoss, wanna grab a burrito?

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